Christmas on the Sword Coast

Dungeons and Dragons News

I thought I would have some fun with an old Christmas classic. Often (if we are lucky) we can escape the shackles of our daily routine and let our imagination freely roam. One of my favorite exercises is to change up words to songs on the radio, TV dialogue…etc. In fact, much of what I absorb on any given day is reprocessed through filter A’la MST3k where words are replaced and sentences take on new meaning. Anyway, I hope you enjoy. This is a wordplay mashup of  “A Visit from St. Nicholas”, also known as “The Night Before Christmas” replaced with references to Dungeons and Dragons

Twas the night before Christmas, after a long night of game

A Dungeon Master dreams of his next D&D campaign

And in that dream lay the  land of Faerun

Where the power of Szass Tam manifested through wicked rune

Szass Tam

A new party sprang from tomes, guides and handbook pages

The D&D Classics – Fighters, Clerics, Rogues and Mages

The Dungeon Master in Robes and his players in leathers

They set off for adventure in the wicked Sword Coast weather

With a penchant for trope the party set priority first

And off to the tavern they did head to quench thirst

When just then, from high above arose such a scream

They sprang to the shadows praying it was just a bad dream

They risked a peek from their dark hiding place

And confirmed their fears, their hearts they did race

For high in the sky piercing clouds and breathing fire

A great red dragon did soar, their plight was dire

Then without warning whilst they quaked most manic,

A party of heroes appeared, showing no panic

The Ranger was first to take aim at the beast,

The Cleric quickly blessed him before he released

Now in flight, the arrow soared straight and true

The Bard broke into song as the Ranger’s missile flew

Her voice was strong, mocking and vicious

She sang to conjure damage most malicious

But victory over the dragon the heroes would not easily earn

And in the dragons volcanic fire, the arrow did burn

The barbarian and fighter stood with weapons  slack

Knowing the reach of their steel did lack

Dutifully, they took positions. Weapons they did draw

And when time came, they would strike without flaw

The Rogue was the next hero to have a try

They watched as he scaled a tall building, but why?

Then it struck them, the plan he was cooking

He would wait for right time, when the beast wasn’t looking

And when the great dragon flew under the Rogue’s perch

He leapt onto its back, burying his dagger – making the beast lurch

With a great shake the wyrm dived, turned and wound

He shook the Rogue loose, sending him falling to the ground

Quick afoot the Monk sprang into action

And broke the Rogue’s fall with a quick bonus action

The Paladin stepped forward in devoted commitment

The Warlock at his side…dark, foreboding and full of bewitchment

Calling upon a god, and conjuring a power of old

The unlikely allies magic did unfold

The hand of Helm smote the dragon at long last

While the power of the ancients slammed into it with an Eldritch Blast

A warm breeze settled over the scene

As a Druid appeared on the village green

With twigs in hair, he stood gazing at the beast most frightening

He paused, then thought “It would be best to call lightning”

The Druids brow furrowed in determined concentration

And in short order everyone realized his magnificent creation

A storm cloud formed quickly, its objective in sight

And suddenly, with a thunderous clap it did strike

For an instant the dragon stopped dead in flight

Electricity coursing about its body, it was an ominous sight

Not to be outdone and seeing his chance

The Sorcerer joined in on the murderous dance

He bent his mind toward the dragon telepathic

And upon getting a read, knew best how to wreak havoc

With a pinch of sugar, some grain and some fat

The Sorcerer unleashed a plague of insects, “Take that you old Bat”

The Wizard, old and frail, sat on stump watching intently

His time would come, and it would come not incidentally

Seeing the wyrm now distracted and distraught

He looked to his spellbook finding the page he earlier sought

Standing, he approached the beast uttering words of ill will

“What spell is this” you ask? “Why of course…its Power Word Kill!”

Wizard & Dragon

Gravy Kingpin exists in two gaming worlds - Pen & Paper and console/PC. He's a part time guardian, part time Dungeon Master, and a full time husband and father of two.

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